The game that couldn’t be lost.

Terrible Salespeople Baseball

It was a beautiful day for a game 7 of the World Series.

The home team really wanted to win it at home, in their city, for the first time in over 20 years, so the manager devised a plan that would ensure the victory.  Here’s how it went down:

Top of the 1st Inning: The visiting team sends 5 batters to the plate, scoring 1 run, before the home team manages to get 3 outs.  The score is now 1-0 Visitors.

Bottom of the 1st Inning:  The home team ALSO sends 5 batters to the plate before the visitors manage to get their 3 outs.  Now, when the 3rd out is made, the home team just sends another batter up to the plate.  The pitcher, who was just starting to walk off the mound, squints at the scoreboard to make sure he did just get that 3rd out.  He did.  He looks back at the home plate umpire quizzically.

Everyone is confused.  What’s going on here?   The new batter stands there expectantly.   The pitcher is looking at the umpire.  The umpire shrugs his shoulders and says, “Play ball!”  The hometown crowd gasps and cheers.  This is unprecedented.

The visiting pitcher can hardly believe what’s happening, but he decides to pitch.  It’s a base hit!  The score is now tied 1-1.   The next batter comes up, and strikes out.  That’s 4 outs.   The next batter on deck walks to the batter’s box.  This is getting ridiculous.   The pitcher starts to leave the mound.  For whatever reason, the umpire yells at him to get back on the mound and pitch.  Seriously….what is going on here??

The pitcher is getting tired.  He’s thrown like 40 pitches in just this one inning.  He throws another pitch and this one is knocked out of the park.  The score is now 3-1 home team. The next batter steps up.  He flys out to right field.  It’s the home team’s 5th out of the inning.  The home team sends yet ANOTHER batter up to the plate as the umpire keeps the play going.  This madness goes on until the home team has sent 20 batters to the plate.    They end up with 8 outs on the inning.

The score at the end of the first inning?  13-1 Home Team.  This is insane…

This same routine occurs every inning for the rest of the game.  The visitors send 3-5 batters up per inning, and the home team miraculously gets to send 20.  This has to be some kind of alternate reality…

The final score ends up at 104 – 6.  The home team wins the World Series.  The fans are so excited they storm the field.    It’s the widest margin of victory in history.

At the post game press conference, the coach is asked how he came up with the strategy.

He said, “After I thought about it, I realized the solution was simple.  If we had more at bats, we would score more often and crush the opposing team.  Turns out it was just a numbers game!”

Now, we all know this could never happen in baseball.  You get three outs per inning and thats it.

You can’t just have as many at bats as you feel like.   These rules would never apply.

Do you want to know where these nonsensical sounding rules DO apply?





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